Lets Talk About Sex Vol. 7: Cheating

Samantha aka Hotlipps said:

So earlier this week I had a little harmless banter with dancehall artiste Mr. Vegas on twitter.  It stemmed from one of his tweets:

MrVegasMusic: Big up to the women that stick around till dem man stop run the town and ready to settle down.

When I read this my eyes bugged out of my head…and I don’t even know why.  So many Jamaican men share this opinion, hence why so many of them are unfaithful.  Now I am not bashing my Jamaican men, I can only speak on what I know, either firsthand, or by hearing countless stories by my female counterparts.  Now I know men and some women for that matter have to sow their wild oats when they’re young, but it seems some never outgrow this behavior.  What’s even worse is that so many women have developed this mindset too, and believe that either because of a lack of available men, low self-esteem, or just being brainwashed that they have to accept this until the man is ready to settle down with them. 

There are a lot of factors that contribute to this.  So many relationships are forced to come about because a woman becomes pregnant.  Now it’s all well and good that the man steps up to the plate and takes care of their child. If he chooses to be in a relationship with the mother of his child then that’s an added bonus.  But what is the point of being with the mother of your child if you aren’t ready to settle down and are chasing every skirt that passes your face.  This happens often in the Jamaican community because of the high rate of children not only born to young parents, but also out of wedlock.

Secondly our culture has almost become accepting of this behavior.  After watching countless movies, and shows about Italians, I have often joked about Jamaicans, being so similar to Italians.  Meaning that they are accepting of the outside woma(e)n as long as the man takes care of the household.

This takes me back to my banter with Vegas, so you as a woman is sitting home while your man run the town, sexing every Mary, Jane and Sue that will allow him.  HOPEFULLY, he wraps it up…but what if he doesn’t.  He is now putting your life at risk; because chances are as wifey you don’t wear condoms with him.  And guess what, even if he does, as I pointed out to Mr. Vegas what most people don’t know is that condoms don’t prevent Herpes, HPV and other skin to skin STDs.

I know many times out of love, comfort, the fear of moving on, children, low self esteem, cultlural acceptance, whatever we as women stay, and put up with his behavior. But think about the implications, for your physical and mental health, and also what this shows your children. Children live what they see, and unfortunately the cycle continues.  Men encourage Gyallis behavior in their sons, but fathers, would you want a man to treat your daughter the way you treat their mothers??? Women would you want your daughter to accept the behavior that you have grown accustomed to accepting in the name of love? Just food for thought.

Smooches from Hotlipps

Mishigan from RBZ said:

Bwooooy... Why Vegas haffi go rile up Sammy? Lol... 

Now I have to speak honestly... I actually torn on which side to take on this one... On the one hand as a man... I know the benefits that come from living as a "Gyallis"... But as a Brother, Son & Uncle... I don't want them tings fi mi Sister, Mother & Niece. Rass man dis one tuff... I will say in my defense that I've never been lucky enough to get a girl that will let me roam and still be my woman... (Which part dem deh?)

But seriously the health & disease ting is always the main issue... Life too precious fi play with it so... 

Now... Sammy... Here's how mi a go defend di Artiste in dis one... There is nothing wrong with showing respect to a woman who sticks with their man for better & for worst... And doesn't leave him for cheating. Nowadays them woman yah ready fi dash weh man fi any likkle ting & dem same one haffi tun round & bawl when dem realize se real man come in like Bully Beef nowadays... hard to find & dear... By the time u find out where dem have some it gone before you reach. Nuff of our grandmothers had to deal with the same ting and nuff a dem tuff it out. Mi rate dat. Its not always a self esteem issue dat cause a woman to stay... And to say that the only women who stay with a man who has cheated is not a fair statement. Some women may believe that their relationship is bigger than that indiscretion... Some may believe in forgiveness... There are many more reasons that a woman may stay than just self esteem. So nuh Class dem suh... Look pon Hilary Clinton... Can anyone try and say her self esteem low? Yet she stayed with her man because she put greater worth on the family than herself. 

Now mi nah se man fi cheat & woman fi tek it... I'm just saying don't look down on a woman who can put that aside and stay... It takes a special type a woman to do that... 

And if u know any my # is (347)... 

RRRRRRRR

Uncle Mishie




WYRAS wishes Mr Vegas a Happy Birthday today as well!